"My First And Last" (Story Version)

Sigh...It's such a nice day today, the sun's out and all but my head still ponders over that stupid law test. Passing the test is a supervening impossible task. And stupid African guy, if you had not bring your stupid art collections with you, this problem would not have happened and I would not be doing this problem in the first place.

Anyway, enough of my law test. Today is a good day actually, hope you peeps are enjoying yourselves so far and hopefully what I have to say in this post will too bring a laughter or two (and don't forget to tag my tagboard as often as possible so I know people are reading, yay!)

Okay, I'm feeling a bit in the mood for love but yet maybe I'm feeling humorous too. Thus, I was pondering on how to phrase this post. In the end, as of today, I shall give this post more of a comical edge or I should say the "Story" version of it. I shall do the "Sensual" version another day.

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I guess the title is pretty self-explanatory. I don't have to explain what it means now, do I? Apparently now that I'm an old man (20 years in the making is not young anymore), I have therefore moved into the situation described by the title above. So if I do keep up with this and still end up single forever, well this (the story) I predict is going to happen sometime during the future. Let's say for example, this event happened when I'm 33 years old and still single. Without further ado, here's the story version of "My First And Last."

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Jeremy comes back home after a hard day's work, flops on the couch and turns on the TV. His mum comes down and starts a conversation with him.

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Mum: "Aiyoh, son ah, you're 33 years old already and still partner less. When are you going to get married?"

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Jeremy: "Aiyah mother, I told you how many times already, this kind of thing cannot rush one. Must take time."

Mum: "Aiyah, now the financial system not good, people are losing their jobs. They are now desperate to take any jobs including washing the toilets at MacDonald. Same goes for relationships, it's hard to find good women at your age, all the good ones are by now taken and married already. You ah? At your age, still want to be very picky, not good one."

Jeremy: "Mum ah...when it comes to a girl I like, there must be three "B"s. She must be Beautiful, Brilliant and the Best."

Mum: "Wa lau eh, women at your age, how can have these three "B"s? As long as got Breasts, Backside and can give Birth, okay already mah."

Jeremy:"Mum ah, I know I'm not young anymore, that's why I'm waiting for the right one to come along. And when she does, I promise you she will be good."

Mum:"Good? Ai yah, good means going to the bridal agency and get folan (foreign) brides. Nowadays, $100 dollar can get China and Vietnamese brides already, like flying budget airlines."

Jeremy:"Haiyo mother. I promise I will get one. She will definitely be my first and last."

-End of story-